Leading from the Second Chair
Do you ever wish you were the “main man” or “main woman” in life? Are you tired of someone farther up the ladder hogging all the spotlight? One of my favorite books in the past 10 years is a book called Leading from the Second Chair by Roger Patterson and Mike Bonem.
Every Job is Important
Today, allow me to share with you one thought on leading like a servant. The historian Don McCullough tells the story of a time during World War II when England needed to increase its coal production….
Helping, Fixing or Serving?
Does it ever bug you when people try to help you? “I can do it myself!” is something we hear preschoolers say when they learn to dress themselves or tie a shoe. How about when people try to fix you?…
Consider Leading by Serving
Are you in a leadership role, but you’re finding it’s harder than you thought? Maybe you’re leading at home as a parent or spouse. Or you’re leading others at work or in the community. In the weeks ahead, I want to talk with you more about what it means to be a “servant leader”….
Ingredients That Make for a Successful Coaching Relationship
Some years back, an article in the Harvard Business Review talked about the factors that make for a successful coaching relationship. Here’s my perspective on how you can get the most out of a coach, with a few insights from HBR and what others have said:…
What a Coach Can Do For You
Some of you may remember the comic strip B.C. by Johnny Hart, and those iconic scenes when B.C. climbed to the top of a mountain to ask advice of the wise guru.
In one strip, B.C. reaches the top and asks, “O great guru, what is success?”…
Making a Fresh Start in 2021
As we all gladly bid farewell to 2020 and look forward to a fresh start in 2021, maybe you’re wondering if a coach can help you move forward in the new year.
I’d love to work with you to bring out your best, because I’ve benefited from the power of coaching myself. I excited to help you find greater clarity, better performance, stronger relationships, more confidence, or freedom from unwanted behaviors.
A Roadmap to Maturity
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved looking out the window of the car and I’ve loved maps—because I’ve wanted to know where I am and where I’m going. When I was in elementary school, we made three road trips from Minnesota to Florida to visit my grandparents, who lived there.
The Power of Telling Stories
If you’ve known me for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard me tell “The Bear Story.” It’s about an encounter a friend and I had with a bear in Minnesota’s Boundary Waters Canoe Area back when we were in college. My kids roll their eyes whenever I tell this story, but it’s gotten a lot of traction over the years, because I really get into telling it...
Strengthen Family Bonds: A Challenge for Dads and Moms
One of the most powerful insights from neuroscientific research and attachment theory is the concept of forming bonds for three. Rooted in strong attachments created between a mother and baby in the first two years of a child’s life, healthy families encourage bonding between baby and dad or baby and other significant adults, such as grandparents, siblings, or aunts and uncles…
Building Joy and Connection: Mirror Neurons and the Mutual Mind
One of the most fascinating insights from neuroscience and brain scans is the presence of “mirror neurons” in our brains. These neural connections “mirror” or imitate the actions or emotional states of others—such as when I smile, you tend to smile back at me. These connections develop best in early life, through face-to-face relationships with people we trust and who are glad to be with us….
Create Lasting Bonds with Others
A leadership exercise I’ve used with groups involves having people stand in a circle. Then I have one person hold on to the end of a ball of yarn before throwing that ball to someone across the circle. That person then holds on to the yarn before throwing the yarn ball to someone else across the circle. Eventually, the yarn connects and weaves people together….
Happy Thanksgiving: Covid Edition (*sigh*)
And here it is. After months of mask-wearing, social distancing, and careful handwashing, it seems the dreaded Covid virus is floating around the bedroom right next to where I’m writing this….
Discover Lasting Bonds with God
One of the blessings of life right now for my wife Judy and me is this fresh opportunity we have to read board books, use our imaginations with Fisher-Price little people, and play delightful games of peek-a-boo with our little sweetheart. And when her mom or dad come to pick her up….
Learning How to Back Off
Some years back, I was in a relationship with a person who didn’t know how to back off. And the more this person pushed, the more I shut down. And the more I shut down, the more this person pushed and the angrier they became. Have you ever known someone who argues or insists on making their point, but don’t know when to quit?…
Fighting the Darkness, Part 2
At times, do you find yourself consumed by worry or dread? Does your mind race with all sorts of worst-case scenarios? Do you think this dark season of life might never come to an end? Dr. Allan Schore, a UCLA neuropsychologist, says that “the inability to down-regulate emotions to rest….
Intentional Gratitude
When I first moved out to the Pacific Northwest to follow God’s adventure, my ministry partner Paul and his wife Kathy used to invite newcomers to their home. And one of the first questions he’d ask was, “What are two or three things you appreciate….
Fighting the Darkness
It’s only late October, but winter has come early to the Upper Midwest. It’s not fair—especially in a Covid-19 year, when life is hard enough already. While I don’t love the cold, it’s the darkness that really gets to me. My wife and I went out to eat tonight —the first time in a long time, because we’re trying to save money and stay healthy….
Learning to Return to Joy
There are days I wish I had a better handle on my emotions. I tend to live in high gear, and it’s sometimes hard to know how to downshift. And when I’m in high gear mode, I tend to forget things…
Soaking in Appreciation
In the Joy Group I’m part of, we talked this past week about the importance of practicing appreciation. Being grateful about something is part of it--but there’s something powerful about simply living in the moment and soaking in the feeling of appreciation for five minutes or more each day.