Ingredients That Make for a Successful Coaching Relationship
Some years back, an article in the Harvard Business Review talked about the factors that make for a successful coaching relationship. Here’s my perspective on how you can get the most out of a coach, with a few insights from HBR and what others have said:
1. Are you highly motivated to change?
A good coach can work with you on this, by explaining what it means to have a growth mindset. If you’re taking on a coach because you already know all the answers, or are looking for a sounding board so you can blame others, you’re not going to find coaching effective. Those who get the most out of coaching have a strong desire to learn and grow.
2. Do you have good chemistry with your coach?
You can usually determine this within the first couple of sessions. You have to trust your coach and be able to connect with him or her in order to create a sense of safety and the conditions (called a “toward state”) to bring out your best thinking and motivation.
A long list of professional degrees or even a stellar reputation will not serve you well if the fit is not right.
3. If your employer is paying for your coaching, do they have your best interests in mind, or are they trying to fix you or find reasons to show you the door?
Trust in an employer is also key to a successful coaching relationship. The best partnerships between coach, employer and employee is the desire for the employer to keep and develop you as an employee and leader—and for the employer to consider broader cultural or systemic issues in the organization that need to be addressed.
4. Is it OK if the focus of coaching engagements shifts over time?
Oftentimes what starts with business issues and goals migrates to ‘bigger issues’ such as life purpose, work/life integration and ways to become a better leader in various dimensions of life.
On the other hand, a professional coach will keep the original terms of the coaching engagement, and if there are significant and lasting shifts in focus, these will be observed and negotiated with the employer and/or client as necessary.
5. How long does a leadership coaching engagement last?
I typically work with clients in shorter-term “Discovery Coaching” of 1-3 sessions where you bring a specific problem, issue or dilemma that you need to work through and find progress or resolution. I find there’s more traction and progress in longer “Structured Coaching” engagements of 8-12 sessions, where we work on three diverse goals at the same time, which tends to foster new thinking, new habits, and lasting change. It’s like the difference in going to the gym a couple times, or working out for a number of months so you’ll develop new habits and experience lasting change.
Executive coaching can last longer—often up to 7-12 months, embedding lasting change both in the executive and in the organization he or she serves.
To learn more how you can benefit from a successful coaching relationship, go to www.savannaoakssolutions.com and schedule a “FREE 40-Minute Success Strategy Session” with me.